First Month of the ADHD Treatment

Feb. 6, 2026 // dante

The Fallen Angel by Alexandre Cabanel (1847)

The painting depicts the Devil after his fall from Heaven

Prelude: This is just a really personal experience that I really wanted to keep track on. The explanations will certainly not be the same for anyone else. If you fall into such a misconception, please close this window immediately.

First of all, I have not felt this way in a long time and I really mean it. When people ask me how I am, I even have a joke I use a lot: "I haven't felt well since I was about 12 years old."

Of course, for me, this was more of a longing for nostalgia, a reference to how everything was easier when I was a child. I only learned that this joke had some basis in reality when I turned 30 and started right treatment about two days ago.

Yesterday, I smoked a cigarette of my own FREE will. Perhaps something that never happened after I started to smoke at my really young age of 14. This might not seem meaningful to you at first glance. What I mean is, being present while smoking, not fidgeting, and not thinking "I should be doing something else" or "Should I light up one more cig after this one?".

Just standing still and being there, exhaling the smoke -- even though I do not want to praise a bad habit, sorry-- felt really different.

The cursed everything at ONCE Feeling

aThis Feeling